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Britney Spears’ 22-Minute Audio Statement: Full Transcript

In possibly the most revealing account yet, Britney Spears exposed about her life under a conservatorship in a 22-minute statement posted online.

The audio file was uploaded to YouTube but later removed. The audio featured Spears talking at length about her experiences in the last 15 years, her feelings towards her family, and she also revealed how she nearly fled the united states with her “secret” boyfriend.

Spears stated that the lengthy recording was instead of an interview. She had previously been offered an interview with famous brands Oprah Winfrey for “a lot of money” but has turned those requests down.

The singer has deleted her Instagram account and in addition released her first song in 2 yrs, a collaboration with Elton John called “Hold Me Closer.”

Spears’ audio recording has been removed on YouTube, nevertheless, you can easily see what she said below:

Full transcript of Spears’ statement:

“Okay, therefore i woke up today, and I realized that there surely is a whole lot going on in my own head that I haven’t really distributed to anyone really. And I’ve had a great deal of opportunities, Oprah interviews, to be on a platform and, and share hardships and or, or simply really anything that’s going on in my own mind. And I must say i don’t think some of that is highly relevant to getting paid to inform your story, Personally i think like it’s sort of silly. So I’m, I’m here, honestly, merely to open myself to others and make an effort to shed a light on, if anyone on the market has ever been through hardships or whatever it really is merely to put a light onto it. And so see your face doesn’t feel alone. Because I must say i know very well what that feels as though.

I haven’t honestly shared this openly, too, aswell, because I’ve been scared of the judgment. And definitely the embarrassment of just of the whole lot, period. And the skepticism and the cynical people and their opinions of what folks would actually think

I really do think I’m in a location now, where I’m a bit more confident that I could be ready to share openly. My thoughts and what I am through, because I haven’t really had that outlet to talk about completely openly, for such a long time, just scared of judgments, thoughts of other folks and what they think or what they could say. And I believe it’s crucial, from my heart and my head in order to speak openly about any of it as if other people would.

Britney Spears performing in California in 2016
Britney Spears (pictured in December 2016)spoke her truth in a 22-minute audio statement published, then later removed, from YouTube.Tim Mosenfelder/Getty Images

Well, the specific conservatorship actually started, I believe, 15 to 16 years back, I was 25 when it started, I was extremely young. And I recall lots of my friends texting me and calling me and were extremely close, plus they wished to see me but with what had happened, honestly, still, even today, have no idea what really I did so, however the punishment of my dad, I wasn’t in a position to, you understand, see anyone or like anything, and and you also need to imagine none of it made sense if you ask me.

I literally spoke in a British accent to a health care provider to prescribe my medication. And three days later, there is a SWAT team within my home, three helicopters. And I recall my mom’s companion, and my two girlfriends we’d sleep on the night before they held me down on a [gurney]. And again, none of it made sense. Literally the extent of my madness was playing chess, no was playing chase with paparazzi, that is still even today, probably the most fun things I ever did about being famous, therefore i don’t know that which was so harmful about this. But I recall my mom was sitting on the couch and she said, ‘we’ve heard folks are coming here today to speak to you. We have to probably go, you understand, to a hotel or something.’ And I hardly ever really understood what she meant. I didn’t believe her like ‘Is an attorney coming here? Who’s coming here?’

Then four hours later, there have been over 200 paparazzi outside the house, videotaping me by way of a window of an ambulance holding me down on a [gurney]. I understand now, it had been all premeditated.

A female introduced the theory to my father and my mom actually helped him continue and managed to get all happen. It had been all basically setup. There is no drugs in my own system, no alcohol, nothing. It had been pure abuse. And, and I haven’t haven’t even really shared even 1 / 2 of it.

I believe the crucial thing I really do remember when I first started was my dad’s control. He loved to regulate every thing I did so. I remember the initial day he said, ‘I’m Britney Spears and I’m calling the shots’ and I’m like, ‘Alrighty then.’ My buddy was a football player and my father was really, very difficult on him when he was younger, really abusive and I believe when my mom gave him the theory for the conservatorship and his friend, I believe he just enjoy regrouped it and made this type of really, really overhauling big deal from it also it was just really an excessive amount of. I recall him always being at work and my girlfriend was his assistant, plus they would just stay static in there all day long with the entranceway shut and I was never, ever in a position to leave her go anywhere.

My first job following the two weeks to be hospitalized and completely traumatized out of my mind. I did so a Television show called How I Met Your Mother and I started focusing on an album called circus, I started working away immediately.

All I really do remember is I had to accomplish what I was told. I was told I was fat each day I had to visit the fitness center, and I’d never remember feeling so demoralized. And just, they made me feel just like nothing. And I went alongside it because I was scared. I was scared and fearful. I didn’t even do anything. And I had such as a swap team and how like, none of it made sense if you ask me.

So since that day, I did so probably four . 5 tours, I did so an album Circus, Femme Fatale, Britney Jean and Glory. And I started performing a Vegas show [in] NEVADA. And I did so that for four . 5 years. And I got eventually to a spot where, you understand, because my pride in my own 30s, I must live under my father’s rules. And you also know, the dancers are playing and drinking and having a great time at nights in Vegas. And I couldn’t do anything. And I recall just being like, my performances I understand were horrible. Like I even wore wigs and all of the dancers were doing each one of these nice sexy head flip turns, and I had conditioner treatment and my hair and like these little caps over my head and just through the whole show getting conditioner treatments just with wigs on because I was as being a robot. Honestly, I simply I didn’t provide a fanymore. Because I couldn’t go where I needed to go. I couldn’t have the nannies that I needed to possess. I couldn’t have cash also it was just demoralizing. THEREFORE I was similar to in this conspiracy thing of individuals claiming and like treating me such as a superstar. Yet somehow, they treated me like nothing.

Well, for reasons uknown, I began to get yourself a spark back. I recall recording Glory and for reasons uknown, I believe producing and making music, I visited this little Spanish house and I acquired the fire back my eyes, for reasons uknown. Also it was by the end of recording Glory. And my son named it and things started sort of going for a turn because I started getting ultimately more confidence simply for myself. And I believe confidently, people similar to ‘oh, wait, wait, wait, what’s happening now? Like she’s speaking up a bit more.’ Nonetheless it is probably not particularly a very important thing if I am quiet for 15 years.

I believe confidently comes enlightenment, making you imagine better and that is the final thing they wanted me to accomplish was to really be better. ‘Cause then who maintain control then. Nonetheless it really was tricky because I had to just play this role that everything was okay continuously. And I had to go with it because I knew they might hurt me. So I’m sitting here like, my friends all alcohol consumption and having a great time in these parties and had no cash. I literally felt such as a nun. My girlfriend’s from your home found visit me in a spa and I couldn’t even head into the spa plus they had their feet doing pedicures in the water and three ices of bottles of champagne before my show just sitting there and I wasn’t even recognized by them my very own hometown friends plus they would arrived at Vegas, also it was just it had been demoralizing, I’ll say. You might also need to comprehend it’s like, 15 years of touring and doing shows and I’m 30 yrs . old under my dad’s rules. And all this is being conducted in my own mom’s witnessing this and my buddy is witnessing and my friends are witnesses plus they all go with it. And I’m like, how am I the main one working here doing all of this, but I do not get the medial side things, the nice stuff, you understand? I wish to have the ability to play. I wish to have the ability to have a great time. Like, none of it made sense if you ask me.

Therefore the last show in Vegas ended 2000-I think-17. I continued tour that is a tour I was forced to accomplish but I was likely to execute a new show. Therefore the new show arrived. I believe maybe four days weekly I don’t really remember. But I visited one rehearsals and I said no to a dance also it was like ‘No can we do this? I would like to do that.’ And I simply remember everything got really weird and quiet and all of the directors and producers went in the trunk room and just spoke. And that has been it. And I was like well, I have no idea what’s happening. So most of us just similar to guess what happens happened and the very next day, I was told that I was needed to be sent away to a facility and that I was likely to say on my Instagram the key reason why is because my father is sick, and I want treatment that was, I didn’t desire to go ever go there. I recall my father calling me on the telephone and I was crying. And I was like, ‘Why are you currently guys achieving this? Like what?’ And I simply remember him saying ‘It’s, you need to pay attention to the doctors, the doctors are gonna let you know how to proceed, I can’t assist you to now.’ And I recall his last words were, ‘Now you don’t need to go. But unless you go, we’re gonna head to court, and they’re going to be considered a big trial, and you’re gonna lose, I’ve a lot more people on my side than you. You do not even have an attorney. So that they don’t even think.’ THEREFORE I achieved it, I visited the area, I was scared out of my mind. And none of it again made any sense of what these were doing if you ask me. And again, I haven’t wished to share this because it’s unbelievably offensive, sad, abusive. And honestly, would anybody trust me?

I recall the crucial thing of when I was for the reason that place that my heart felt enjoy it was frozen, enjoy it was stuck inside, I needed to scream and I needed to obtain out. And I believe by way of a needle and thread, it had been the breathing peacefully inward that I missed probably the most. I felt like I was in circumstances of shock. Almost like when a vintage person feels helpless, and they are literally going right through some kind of shock treatment plus they can’t relax your body because they don’t possess the answers of why they can not have the own keys with their car and put it in the ignition and walk outside and their very own security guards at every door saying they can not go. Seated, drawing six galls of blood weekly. Weak as hell. And my children is in Destin, within my beach house. It didn’t seem sensible.

The crucial thing, even today I sort of stopped believing in god in those days, I didn’t understand how they might have 40 people leave the house each day and me work from eight to six during the night. The scene changed each time I changed in the shower. No privacy, no door. Nothing. How did they escape with it? And what the fdid I really do to deserve that? I couldn’t even smoke cigars, people on death row can smoke cigars. I missed my AA meetings. Although I was sort of forced to visit AA and I’m not an alcoholic. I actually enjoyed it. Because I thought individuals were brilliant. They shared their stories, merely to share their story in a circle of people who just want to be better people and attempting to touch other folks. I missed my AA meetings, I couldn’t go any I couldn’t have the keys in my own car, No cash, no cigarettes, no door for privacy. It changed me. Watched me change […] each day, I did so work 7 days per week, no weekends were off. They monitored what I ate. from eight to six I work some times at nine o’clock, I’d have the ability to watch a movie.

Finally, who owns the complete facility that I was always texting to attempt to have the ability to go somewhere I simply escape the home, that place somehow. He previously to i want to go as the Free Britney campaign arrived with all the current pink Tops. I saw it on most of the morning shows and folks by person to person and I believe simply by my fans knowing by heart that something was up. I recall among the guys was on an interview on the road and he said, ‘You know, I possibly could be totally wrong. And when I’m wrong, I’m going to be really, really embarrassed. And I’ll just go have a glass or two somewhere,’ he said, ‘But I really do feel just like something. They’re doing something to her at this time. And I’m uncertain really what it really is but that’s what my heart says.’ However the whole thing that managed to get really confusing for me personally is this type of person on the road fighting for me personally, but my sister and my mother aren’t doing anything. If you ask me it had been like they secretly honestly liked me being the bad one like I was smudged plus they sort of just liked it this way. Otherwise, why weren’t they outside my doorstep saying ‘Baby girl enter the automobile. Let’s go.’ I believe that is the main thing that hurt me. I couldn’t process how my children went alongside it for such a long time. And After all, almost five months, almost half of a year, you understand. And their only response was, ‘We didn’t know.’ I’m like, ‘I’m on the telephone telling you at this time. I’m here. Please.’

Eventually, by the grace of God and praying on my knees, I left the area. But I was still scared. I really was really scared. And after that I had support. I needed plenty of support. And I came across two really, excellent individuals who would arrived at the house weekly and just helped me with my mind because I didn’t understand all of the therapy that I had to accomplish there. Why have therapy if it is forced? And in such as a militant, almost prison-like way that like is where you you are not even all there and none of it made sense.

Well, I believe my strength grew because I didn’t get in touch with my father anymore. Plus they were playing the overall game of ball and twist of, you understand, she’s gonna come running back again to us, because, you understand, we’ve scared her. And we’re the bosses here, but I didn’t. I simply stalled. And I stalled and I stalled and I stalled. And lastly, I believe they just knew I wasn’t heading back. And I finally got an attorney. An excellent friend finally got me an attorney, and he really helped me through it.

Britney Spears and image with father Jamie
In Britney Spears’ 22-minute audio recording she criticized her father Jamie Spears (inset with Britney, 2006) for his role in her conservatorship. Gabe Ginsberg / Chris Farina/FilmMagic / Getty Images

If you ask me, finished . was, I believe the trauma of most of it and, and just the whole lot together and heading down to just how much effort and work and heart I devote to what I did so when I did so work, even right down to the facts of just how many rhinestones will be in my own costume. And I cared so much. And, they literally killed me.

They threw me away. That’s what I felt like my children threw me away. I was performing for like a large number of people during the night in Vegas, the rush to be a performer, the laughter the joy, the respect. I was shaking over 40 people’s hands every evening before show, training weekly. Three workout sessions weekly, AA meetings, therapy sessions. My father literally, I was a machine. I was a fing machine. Not human, almost. It had been insane how hard I worked. And the main one time I speak up and say no in rehearsals, to a fing dance move, they got pissed.

Personally i think just like the scare tactic and how badly they treated me ultimately, I believe they thought I would come begging back again to work again because I was – they thought, you understand, I needed them. Since they did they put me within an ignorant, scared mind-set to create me feel just like I needed them. And when you do not do what we say, we will demonstrate who’s boss. I didn’t play their game anymore. I acquired on my knees each day. And I prayed.

I held on, such as a needle and thread, for some type of existence since they had made me feel just like nothing for such a long time. I knew in the deepest, deepest section of my core, I knew I’d done nothing wrong and I didn’t deserve just how I’d been treated.

I really do think the hardest thing for me personally was I needed to utilize my feet and leave and run or go somewhere. I needed to be put into a chair from like eight to six each day. I couldn’t go on it. I talked to rabbis. I’ve talked to grown men about any of it and they are like, ‘We don’t observe how you achieved it.’ Honestly, I don’t either. And during that, I recall saying ‘I don’t think in God anymore.’ I honestly deserve an award for acting like I was okay. Each day. I thought these were attempting to fing kill me.

I recall onetime I was backstage and I needed my inhaler. And I exposed to my assistant, because I had my phone with me which I’m not likely to have my phone within the stage. But I thought to her, ‘You know very well what I’m doing?’ I was speaking with a man and he wished to just leave the united states with me. We’d it all create to just leave. Also it was a secret relationship. And I said, ‘My biggest fear was what would my father do? EASILY did take action wrong? Imagine if I left the united states? What and imagine if they found me and what would they do?’ And I said, ‘I feel just like they might lock me up or something or really hurt me.’ And she viewed me and she said, ‘Are you kidding me, Brittany? Your dad could not do that for you.’ And I didn’t even do anything wrong, and he still achieved it.

I’m honestly more angry within my mom because I heard when reporters would call her at that time and have questions of that which was going on. She’d go innocently, innocently hide inside your home and she wouldn’t speak up. It had been always like ‘I have no idea what things to say. I simply don’t desire to say the incorrect thing. We’re praying on her behalf.’ Personally i think like she may have gotten me an attorney in literally two seconds, my pal helped me get one ultimately. But I must say i I each and every time I made connection with a company, my phone was tapped, plus they would take my phone away from me. And again, I get nothing out of sharing all this I’ve offers to accomplish interviews with Oprah therefore many people, plenty of a lot of money, but it’s insane. I don’t want some of it. For me personally, it’s beyond a sit back proper interview. I had no contact for the reason that place for such a long time and my heart would would like to operate in my own family’s faces and scream and cry and throw a tantrum and return back with time and do just what I wanted related to those times. Yeah, and may even spit within their fing faces. Why? As the pain my children gave me, sitting me there all day long and not having the ability to use my feet because they watch their grandchildren run bases to base in a famous family neighborhood, as though I’m dead, or I don’t exist, honestly makes me research and say, ‘How the fdid they escape with it? How will there be a god? Will there be a god? Giving eight galls of blood weekly rather than having the ability to operate?’ I was so so weak and my families within my beach house, I was scared broken. I’m sharing this because I’d like visitors to know I’m only human. I really do feel victimized after these experiences and how do i mend this easily don’t discuss it? I’ve an incredible song at this time with probably the most brilliant men of our time and I’m so grateful.

But if you are a weird introvert oddball like me who feels alone most of the time and you also had a need to hear a tale such as this today which means you don’t feel alone. Know this, my entire life has been definately not easy and you are not alone.”

Newsweek has already reached out to Britney and Jamie Spears for further comment.

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